I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
