Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
