How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
