I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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