My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
