I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
