She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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