you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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