He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
