I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
