All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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