and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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