Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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