After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
