Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
