we have officially lost it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
