I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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