Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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