Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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