I need help removing her.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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