Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
