yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
