your parents love me but you hate me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
