just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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