Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
