yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
