i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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