Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm too high and old for this...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
