I could have mohawked her pubes.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
