I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
