apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
