you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
