dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
