also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
