Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
