I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm just crazy horny about you
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
