Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
