respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
