wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
