Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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