Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
