Pappa wants mamma naked
I CAN MOONWALK!
I could make wine with my vomit
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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