If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My ATM looks so different sober.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
