So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
