I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
