HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
