it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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