Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize