Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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