I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
