I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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