I didn't shave. On purpose
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
