He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
