with your own penis?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
