feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
