This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
