Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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