Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
