Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
