if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
