Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize