I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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