My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
