White coat. Heels.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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