Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
